1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
10. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Edison.
14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
15. You have to believe that the only reason communism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
16. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
17. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
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9 comments:
How to be a Good republican....Don't question anything your government says and believe that your leaders are infallible at all times. If that fails, blame it on Clinton.
How to be a good Republican: Get elected to State office. Don't work with fellow Republican legislators. Try to run opponents against fellow Republican Pat Lindner. Don't bring anything home to your distrcit. Run for comptroller (lose). Try to change your name. Run for Congress (lose).
1. You have to be for the death penalty, against all abortion, yet call yourself "pro-life" across the board. Then talk about Jesus and Ronald Reagan.
2. You have to believe that businesses and governments work together to create a happy fun-time land where prosperity reigns and economics trickles down through the system. Granted, what's trickling down on the poor is yellow. Jesus and Ronald Reagan.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens have never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever done anything bad ever nope nuh uh. Just hasn't happened. They're playing possum. Jesus, Ronald Reagan and Ann Coulter.
4. You have to believe that there were no large, multinational corporations before federal subsidies, corporate bail-outs and no-bid contracts.
5. You have to start spouting off about cyclical changes after years of denying that global warming actually exists. Then claim that's what you thought the whole time.
6. You have to care about nature only to the extent it lets you condemn certain lifestyles as "unnatural." After that, forget the trees.
7. [I can't even make fun of this one, which was "You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding." People are dying. It's just sick for this guy to turn that into a joke. And then to continue to claim moral superiority on top of that. Your Jesus went among the sick and dying. He didn't mock them. Reagan might have.]
8. You have to believe that the collected fables about a 2,000-year-old carpenter in a desert tribe half a planet away is somehow qualified to teach your kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that taking the presidency is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
10. You have to forget that Mel Gibson spent $5,000 of his own money for bail after he drunk-drove and started screaming slurs against the Jews.
11. You have to believe the founding fathers put the First Amendment before the Second was to get it out of the way quickly.
12. You have to believe that taxes are too high and your money would be better given to deserving corporate entities in need.
13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are not even a part of American history. Didn't happen. Jesus and Ronald Reagan.
14. You have to believe that racial quotas and set-asides are the reason every time you weren't hired or promoted.
15. You have to believe that the only reason democracy hasn't worked in the Middle East is because the white people haven't been in charge.
16. You have to believe that the separation of church and state is optional around Christmas-time. And Easter. And when you just feel like throwing the 10 Commandments in a courthouse.
17. You have to believe that there is a vast, right-wing conspiracy but everyone's silent. They're in the majority and everyone everywhere thinks like you but they're silent. I swear, they're there. Hello? Hello? They're just shy. Jesus and Ronald Reagan.
And we wonder why nothing gets done in Washington. Sadly, too many of you dittoheads would rather believe this bnll$h!t that muster an independent thought.
Crap. That should read, "than muster an independent thought."
Hey. At least we Dems admit our mistakes.
And when all else fails, let's elect an empty suit whose credentials include being a community organizer(nothing worse than an unorganized community-well maybe an unorganized closet), a do nothing state senator (except when he voted present, at least he showed up for a vote) a three year state senator who is smart enough to gain the wisdom of the worldin 36 months, and believes that his spirtual guide in the world is not a racist, biggot or a man who hates America( you can't believe everything he says while preaching the Gospel). Obama- vote for change( change for an increased tax rate, change from a free society to a socialist system, change from a country that loves freedom and liberty to a country of lefties who blame America first.
"anonymous" shows us a good example of the type of angry ill-informed spin that is the mainstay of the democratic party. It's no wonder that they choose to remain "anonymous"
McCain/Palin
Real People, Real Solutions and Real Change!
Submitted by D.W.Henry
Ronald Reagan and Jesus are good Company. Rush is as well and so is W. W's legacy will be more clear as the years go by.
NOAA records show a .5 degree change in global climate since 1950, so Gore can rest easy. I do my part to respect our earth and keep it clean. oh, btw dem, have you inflated your tires and spark plugs.
Nobody likes War, (not even the GOP) we however, realize our role in this World. We are the big brother of the world whether we like it or not. The United Nations is worthless. God Bless our troops.
Obama is an empty suit. So, now I will be considered a racist. This comment can't be bacuse Obama is a Junior Senator with a 140 days experience. or that before that he was simply a community organizer. Nope, I will be considered a racist.
I don't even want to touch on Rev Jackson, Rev Jerimiah, terrorist Avery, Real Estate Reszco....blah, blah blah
Just what is my windfall profit level. I want to stop working quite as hard then. What about movie star, would their income qualify as a windfall profit?
This letter to the Herald, just says it all:
In the past several decades the Democratic Party has undergone several name changes. They went from being called liberals to being called progressive. After the 2000 election they went from being known as the Democrat Party to being the Democratic Party. The new name they should adopt is NEO-MARXIST. Neo means new and we all know what a Marxist is.
In the 1990s first lady Hillary Clinton decided to nationalize the flu vaccine industry. This brilliant idea led to the closing of four of the five American companies producing the flu vaccine. This caused the shortages we experienced in the first few years of the 2000s.
The Neo-Marxist leaders of the Democratic Party today have called for:
1. The nationalizing of the oil companies. This will really get the oil production to increase!
2. The nationalizing of the oil refineries. They have blocked the building of new ones for 30 years. We are to trust them to do the maintenance on the old ones? Not a chance!
3. The nationalizing of the drug companies. They destroyed the American flu vaccine industry. What harm would these fools cause the entire drug industry?
4. The now head of the Neo-Marxist party, the Sometimes Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, wants to confiscate the "excess profits of the oil companies" and add a "windfall profit tax." This "idea" will not add one drop of oil to the economy and cause a further reduction in supply. This was idiotic when the other Illinois Senator Comrade Durbin, Comrade Reid and Comrade Pelosi floated the idea earlier in the year. They want to "punish" the oil companies but the only ones going to be harmed are the American people and the stockholders (mom and pop) of the oil companies. The Neo-Marxists always bemoan the profits of the oil companies but never credit them for the excessive taxes they and we already pay.
5. The Neo-Marxist Barack Obama was not sad that the price of gas had reached $4.00 a gallon, he was sad that "it had reached that price too quickly." He actually said that!
6. The nationalizing of the health-care industry. This wonderful idea has worked so well in England, Canada and other Socialist countries that some of their wealthier citizens and politicians come here for proper health care.
The Neo-Marxist Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi refused to allow the Republic party a vote on opening up drilling. Before the most recent recess (vacation) of Congress she closed the House of Representatives. In true Soviet fashion, she ordered the lights and microphones closed off. For the past three weeks, Republican representatives have continued to debate in the House of Representatives, in the dark and without microphones. With shame this paper and many of the so-called independent press have ignored this story. Someday we will truly have a free and independent press and not a Democratic-Party-line-towing press.
The Neo-Marxist Democratic Party wants to control every facet of our lives. They must be stopped and stopped this year. Their last two years of failure controlling Congress has proved they are not ready to lead or help the American economy.
William R. Storino
Hainesville
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Sort By: Oldest Newest1-3 of 3posted by whoyatoya on Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:00 AM
William Storinio wrote.
"For the past three weeks, Republican representatives have continued to debate in the House of Representatives, in the dark and without microphones."
BILLY THAT LINE IS STRAIGHT FROM POLITCO:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/thecrypt/0808/House_Dems_turn_out_out_the_light_but_GOP_keep_talking.html
Billy, that was AUGUST 1, 2008. That makes your calendar off by about THREE WEEKS making todays date AUGUST 22, 2008. Therefore Billy, if you want to make any predictions on who will be the repubLICKEN VP please tell us now!
And Billy, you forgot to add from that article "Minority Leader John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) and other GOP leaders opposed the motion to adjourn the House, They have refused to leave the floor after the adjournment motion PASSED at 11:23 a.m!"
Billy, we are not that STUPID to fall for the repubLICKEN PLAGERISM you tried to copy.
Good try Slick WILLY! You will make a fine repubLICKEN LIAR. You even make John McCain an Sarah Porky Palin to look like credible LIARS!
We are proud of you Bill.
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posted by Dion F Kendrick on Thu Sep 11, 2008 7:03 AM
You got it Bill; new name, same tired story: Collectivism.
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posted by zabes on Thu Sep 11, 2008 7:29 AM
Geeeze!
How many more ways are neocons going to find to tag anyone to the left of John Birch as a commie?
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