How to be a good Democrat.:

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

10. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson and Thomas Edison.

14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

15. You have to believe that the only reason communism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

16. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

17. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

Vacancy at 5th and Jackson, Springfield, IL

Vacancy:

Desired downtown residence. Spacious. Multiple bedrooms and bathrooms. Historical district. Furniture included. Vacated since 2002!
______________________

Lawmakers have called on Blagojevich repeatedly to stay at the Executive Mansion, a state-owned home for Illinois' governor located two blocks from the Capitol. Blagojevich has said previously he prefers to stay in Chicago to be with his family.

"I don't feel I'm insulting if I say, 'Governor, if you're here, I think you can be part of the process. If you're not here, I think you're being part of the problem,' " said Rep. Bill Black (R-Danville).

The non-binding resolution, sponsored by Rep. Sandra Pihos (R-Glen Ellyn), passed by voice vote but not before a handful of Democratic allies to the governor raised a stink on the House floor.

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Michael Moore no fan of Hillary...

One of the differences between Michael Moore's forthcoming "SiCKO" and his previous films, he writes in the publicity materials, is that "there's not one character or company to hate in SiCKO," which I caught at a screening yesterday. And indeed, most of the politicians appear as anonymous figures in suits, with price tags indicating their contributions from the drug industry. Billy Tauzin, predictably, takes a bit of a beating.

And so, less predictably, does Hillary Clinton.

Moore's brief political history of American health care policy at first seems to lavish praise on Clinton, if with a satirical, and gendered, edge. (She's introduced as "Sassy...smart...sexy.")

But his conclusion is that she sold out. After her defeat in the first Clinton term, he says, she fell silent on the issue. And "for her silence, Hillary was rewarded. And she has been the second-largest recipient in the Senate of healthcare industry contributions."

The movie, which like most of his movies, is powerfully made, will probably drive some debate on the issue when it's released at the end of this month. It's basically a commercial for Western Europe, with an over-the-top ode to Cuba tacked onto the end. And Moore isn't personally in sympathy with any of the Democrats.

"They don't seem to want to grapple with the real issue. It's very sad," he says of the presidential candidates in the publicity package distributed at the screening. "Even the well-intentioned people like John Edwards -- his plan seems to be to take our tax dollars and put them into the pockets of the private insurance industry."

Moore, needless to say, is for single-payer.

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